I recently came to the realization that I am, in fact, a psychic. What separates me from others that believe in psychic powers is that I am also a skeptic. How did I realize that I had the powers to deduce things before they were revealed to others? Scientific tests. I have repeated these tests and have come to the same conclusion. Thus, I believe in my exceptional powers. I may apply to the FBI or CIA and see if they can make use of these abilities of mine so that they can solve crimes or even prevent crimes from happening. You may still not believe that I am a psychic, but I will give my testimony of one recent example below:
A few days ago, I was speaking to my mother. I hadn't heard about any news related to this...but my mother told me that there had just been an attack on US Marines in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Now you may not believe this, but I immediately blurted out, "By a Muslim, right?"
Fast-forward to now, and it has been revealed that indeed a Muslim committed that crime! I looked up statistics, and fewer than 1% of Americans are Muslim, and this is also true for the Chattanooga Metropolitan Statistical Area. So basically, my answer was like having a number from 1 to 100 on the bottom of a card and then me guessing a number, flipping the card over, and finding that I guessed the exact right number! Amazing!
I can only imagine how helpful I can be to the FBI and CIA with this ability. Even now, I am hearing from many news outlets that the "motive is unclear at the moment". However, immediately, a motive popped into my head. One article's headline even originally read, "Chattanooga gunman’s motive remains a mystery, authorities say". I may be of valuable service! This must be what the highly-paid US government detectives say as information comes in:
A: Another attack! Do we have any information about the attacker or the motive?
B: Well, we found the attacker, but the motive remains a mystery.
A: OK. Let's walk through the data. What's the man's name?
B: Muhammad Youssef Abdulazeez
A: Hmm... Just another American. Drat! We'll have to dig deep with this one! Where is he from?
B: He's from Kuwait.
A: Oh, Kuwait... So he's not an American... Hmm... But that still gives us no clue as to his motive. Did he travel anywhere recently?
B: Just the Middle East...
A: Damn! No luck so far! Did he post anything on his blog before the murders?
B: “Brothers and sisters don’t be fooled by your desires, this life is short and bitter and the opportunity to submit to allah may pass you by.”
A: He must have been on to us. He didn't leave any clues. That rascal!
B: I know. He is hard to read. He's just the average Joe. He must have just been insane.
A: That must be it. It's too bad that we have gained absolutely no evidence of a motive so far. Keep me informed if you find anything compelling.
B: Will do.
A few days ago, I was speaking to my mother. I hadn't heard about any news related to this...but my mother told me that there had just been an attack on US Marines in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Now you may not believe this, but I immediately blurted out, "By a Muslim, right?"
Fast-forward to now, and it has been revealed that indeed a Muslim committed that crime! I looked up statistics, and fewer than 1% of Americans are Muslim, and this is also true for the Chattanooga Metropolitan Statistical Area. So basically, my answer was like having a number from 1 to 100 on the bottom of a card and then me guessing a number, flipping the card over, and finding that I guessed the exact right number! Amazing!
I can only imagine how helpful I can be to the FBI and CIA with this ability. Even now, I am hearing from many news outlets that the "motive is unclear at the moment". However, immediately, a motive popped into my head. One article's headline even originally read, "Chattanooga gunman’s motive remains a mystery, authorities say". I may be of valuable service! This must be what the highly-paid US government detectives say as information comes in:
A: Another attack! Do we have any information about the attacker or the motive?
B: Well, we found the attacker, but the motive remains a mystery.
A: OK. Let's walk through the data. What's the man's name?
B: Muhammad Youssef Abdulazeez
A: Hmm... Just another American. Drat! We'll have to dig deep with this one! Where is he from?
B: He's from Kuwait.
A: Oh, Kuwait... So he's not an American... Hmm... But that still gives us no clue as to his motive. Did he travel anywhere recently?
B: Just the Middle East...
A: Damn! No luck so far! Did he post anything on his blog before the murders?
B: “Brothers and sisters don’t be fooled by your desires, this life is short and bitter and the opportunity to submit to allah may pass you by.”
A: He must have been on to us. He didn't leave any clues. That rascal!
B: I know. He is hard to read. He's just the average Joe. He must have just been insane.
A: That must be it. It's too bad that we have gained absolutely no evidence of a motive so far. Keep me informed if you find anything compelling.
B: Will do.
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